Our phones, tablets, and computers are linked to our entertainment, how we connect with friends and family, our sources of distraction, our self-promotion devices, and our gaming devices. So how are we supposed to ignore the notifications or the pull toward them when they’re designed to keep us always engaged in them? What can we do when our devices are basically an additional limb on our bodies?
First: Preparation
Figure out the why. This is the executive functioning skill of metacognition or “thinking about thinking”. Have a conversation with your child: in what states of mind are you reaching for your phone or device? Boredom? Frustration? To avoid something?
Now move on to motivation. Ask them: Why do you think you need to stop the distractions? Are your grades suffering? Are you missing learning opportunities? Are you missing time with family or friends? Are you seeing negative effects on your self-esteem or an increase in anxious or depressed thoughts?
Talk about what is gained by learning to put down the device so they can focus on one activity or task at a time:
- Constant interruptions keep us from learning material in depth. Despite what American culture tells us about multitasking, in actuality, our brain focuses on one thing by shutting out everything else. It is not possible to pay attention to two things simultaneously; rather than doing one thing well, we are doing each task, at best, mediocre. Something will always get missed.
- Rapid attention-switching, which is what occurs when we interrupt tasks to respond to a notification or to change songs on YouTube, results in us having to backtrack in the task to regain our momentum and learning.
- Ultimately, tasks are completed quicker when focused on one at a time.
Second: Action Steps
Prepare for challenges. Since we are used to being constantly on our phones, your student is likely to need to develop tools to deal with anxiety related to not being near their phone or just not being able to answer it. The alert sound or light is designed to trigger the instinct to respond, so ignoring it will take practice and skill. Before asking them to dive right into homework with their phone put away, have them practice:
- Deep breaths
- Small phrases: “I can look at it when I finish…” “it’ll still be there when I’m done with this task”
- Muscle tension release
Create the environment:
- Set up a homework space: a desk or a table and someplace to store their phone
- Help them set up a study schedule: That way your child will know when they’ll need to give their full attention to a task and for how long
- If they want music, agree to a playlist ahead of time and set a rule that they can’t change it until the break time
When doing homework on a device:
- Open a new window so there’s no temptation by open tabs
- Turn off notification alerts. You can set up “scheduled” or “bundled” notifications. It is recommended to do this on another day without time pressure, as this will have to be done individually for each app. Search “customized notifications” to learn how to do this for a specific device.
- Set the device to airplane mode
- Use browser tools or apps which are designed to minimize distractions. App examples include Phocus, 30/30 and Forest Browser examples are Leechblock, Self Control, Freedom, Focus Writer and Serene
- If the computer or online activity is not required, such as studying flashcards or writing a paper, turn off wifi or completely shut the device off
- Set a timer or use the Pomodoro method. Your child can have a mantra for themselves such as, “I will put my phone aside for 10 minutes. Then I can check my notifications and respond for 2 minutes.” The time limit for focus should be challenging but achievable; the break time should be brief and a timer should be used as well.
- Set an example: it’s on the adults around the child to model these behaviors. Stay off devices when driving or when you’re working. Use only one device at a time: if you’re watching tv, stay off your phone. Let text messages or emails wait, instead of immediately responding to a notification. Consider a family “distraction free time”: time when everyone agrees to stay off devices: exercising, chores around the house, when with friends and family, etc.
For a generation that has grown up in a time when these devices have always existed, it is going to challenge them to say “no” to them. But this is a worthwhile goal: practicing focus and ignoring distractions while young will serve them well throughout their lives. With your support and encouragement, and example, you can soon witness your teen able to complete homework and other tasks without constantly disengaging in response to a bell.
Chicago Home Tutor’s Executive Functioning Coaches can help your teen manage digital distractions and develop other important academic habits and skills. Contact Chicago Home Tutor to discuss further!
[This is a guest article from our partner Chicago Home Tutor]